Still Keeping Track
So I started this blog to keep myself on track and I have been doing everything but that. I have been thinking and I realise that my problem is not tracking. I am a very good tracker. I can make a list and track it till death and realise each time that nothing significant is getting done. My problem, as a friend clearly pointed out, is sticking to the awesome list that I have made using my awesome To Do List app. And I am going to tackle that problem from Friday. For all those going ha ha because I am procrastinating on actually tackling the problem – I sort of need to figure out what my priorities need to be after careful discussions with a lot of people.
The Epiphany Moment
I read a really good article today about Procrastination from raptitude.com. He says there that he read a book called The Now Habit by Neil Fiore which has a section on psychological analysis about people who procrastinate. In the analysis section Neil mentions that people who are prone to serious procrastination are kids who have had high expectations placed on them or have exhibited talents early on. Subsequently when they give average performances, it is met with criticism.
But I don’t think that is my problem. I had an above average time in school with respect to performance and my parents did not beat me to pulp because 10 people got higher marks than me. Infact even my talents were praised too. I remember my mom and grandmom told me for a very long time that I was a great singer who is prone to some throat issues.
But what really hit home and I must say made me feel a little foolish was why people procrastinate. He says that
Procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.
So it (procrastination) is not a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic but a neurotic self-defense behaviour that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
And then I realised that the only kind of work I get done is for the company I work for. I finish them diligently and on time with mild procrastination. I honestly believed up until now that it was the incentive that drove me to work when in reality it was the fact that I knew I was good at my work and didn’t have to prove that to myself. I have a healthy attitude towards challenges at work and give my best effort to all tasks involved. My personal goals on the other hand is a different story. They do not seem to be even close to completion.
My Experiments with Life
I am going to take a leaf out of David’s book (author of raptitude.com) and perform an experiment of my own. I am going to change my attitude towards my personal goals and instil in me a belief that I am more than what I do.
To start off I am taking the following oath for the rest of the month
(a) I will make sure I complete my daily To Do list with atleast one of the tasks being a step towards achieving my personal goals.
(b) I will track my progress every night and make note of what works and what doesn’t and add oaths to this list accordingly.
(c) I will create a list for the next day when I track my progress.
(d) I will not think of tasks as bigger than me. I will complete my tasks to the best of my ability and will not be hard on myself if things go wrong.
(e) I will stop surfing rediff.com, indiatimes.com, koimoi.com and watching serials or movies online as often as I do. There will be specific times in a day / week where I can browse these sites and it will be only once.
(f) The To Do list will also have some guilt free time (1.5 to 2 hours). I can do whatever I want here.
Now I am off to find out what my priorities are for this month and create my list. Good Luck to me!